I'm not sure how to write this blog with out sounding a little bit cliche.
I think the" traditional" things about illness and death. Illness is miserable, you are sick and scared all the time. You don't know if it will lead to death or just more suffering. You just know that you want to stop suffering. Death is scary you don't know what is on the other end of the stick. We try to comfort ourselves by thinking that there is some sort of life on the other end of the road, one that is better then the one we're living now; but we will never know until we die. I think my life and the people in it helped form these ideas. My religion tells me to behave now and I will live in the land of milk and honey later. And I believe it. I believe that there is a meaning to this madness we call life and it is a test of our strength and faith, in ourselves. I like to think of it on a more personal spiritual level. Either way, with out a doubt I do not want to go suffering. I do not want to suffer for years the way my grandfather did because of his failing organs. I was five and he was my world. I loved my Papi. (That's what I called him.) I've seen a lot of family members go, and they all did so slowly because they were ill. I think it's safe to say that because of my family history and the things that I've read about doctors saying a lot of these diseases will be hereditary, there isn't much I can do but wait and see what the future brings for me.
In society we are told these things about living healthier and better lives. We are given statistics about how certain diseases affect our age, gender and race groups. Yet we all live the way we do...I don't think that these are 100% affective in preventing illnesses but they are helpful. We are supposed to live these cautious lives, doing everything by the book, but we are also supposed to live life to the fullest. Enjoy that milkshake eat those fries, you never know when life will end. We can't do one with out the other, there needs to be a balance, but where is that balance? Does the balance even exist? I don't think so. I think that at some point if you are healthy now and enjoying life without rules then it will catch-up to you in the end. Maybe that is just my biased opinion speaking.
The truth is you are born, you eat to survive, make bad choices, make good choices, then you die. But after that death you are to be worshipped. Well in most societies you are. In america we spend money to make the funeral extravagant and feed everyone. (Food really is comfort) You dress the dead in appropriate clothes that you hope they will like and have them in make-up because you want them to look good as they lay there. You hope that when they're looking down at you they're saying "at least I went out in style" And then you forget them. Not literally but life goes on. It has to. We bury them in the ground and get a fancy and beautiful tombstone that we rarely will see. Maybe on occasions like they're birthday or they day they died. But we usually bury the essence of the people along with the thousand dollar coffin they're in. I don't want to sound judgmental, because if I were then I would also be a hypocrite but I this is just the way things are. Well at least to me.
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